I'm working so very hard right now trying to stay positive. I know that's the best thing and I'm trying to repeat that to myself on a daily basis. My mantra "things could always be worse so be thankful for what you have is on repeat." Here is an update of all the things going on.......
- My old direct supervisor at work got promoted to assistant principal which left her position open. Administration just hired for her position from the person who was a leftover from the assistant principal interviews. She has very limited experience, in fact I've taught more years than her and she also doesn't have her master's degree. So in a nutshell I'm more qualified to do this job than she is, yet the position was never posted for us.
- The kids I'm responsible for didn't do well on the first round of assessments so I got called into my old bosses office today so she could inquire as to what I thought was going on. It sucked because I know that I'm not doing a crappy job but the numbers kinda show that I am. She totally wasn't targeting me or thinking it was my fault but she was surprised and wondered if I had any insight. It's exhausting trying to teach really low achieving kids!
- R still hasn't gotten any business since he's started his own business. He got sort of recruited for a job in our village but isn't interested so he's not going to apply. I'm just so tired of things.
- A woman at work actually brought two bags of toys for the boys for Christmas today because her husband got them super cheap. I am so very thankful but embarrassed all the same.
- Our kids are uninsured. We just found out today that the state screwed up and they don't have insurance right now. Dealing with the government gives me such a headache.
Does anyone have any suggestions about how to deal with things issues during the holidays. I'm trying so so so hard to keep a smile plastered on my face and talk myself into staying positive, but it's really tough.
1 comment:
You and I are in the exact same place, sister. I could have written your last post myself. So all I can say is I know exactly how you feel and I wish I had better insight for you.
I too am finding it very hard lately to be positive, despite the fact that there are good things going on in my life. I feel lost, hopeless, depressed, etc... The only thing I can do is what you're doing - repeating a mantra that things could be worse!
I think the hardest part about our situations is feeling like we're the only ones. Like everyone else is having a wonderful life while ours has been stomped to pieces. I think during the holidays especially is is important to live it up with what you have - and don't compare yourself to other people.
Enjoy your wonderful family and time you get to spend with them. Make cookies, go out to look at all the Christmas lights, put on Christmas music... all of that can help to lift your spirits. When putting up our tree the other night, just plugging in the lights and seeing the festive colors gave me a jolt of happiness. I so needed that!
Anyways - I'll end by telling you what people keep telling me: in the end, you'll look back on this time in your life and realize how much you learned and how strong it made your family.
*hugs!*
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