WHY?

One of my really good friends called me on Sund.ay night to update me on what's been going on in her life. She's moving back to Michi.gan so that was really cool to hear but the other part of the news totally broke my heart and left me pondering how bad things can happen to good people. She found out she was pregnant in the middle of Jan.uary. She was almost at her 12 week mark and went in for her ultrasound. There was no heartbeat and no doctor to talk with her. She had to go back the next day to talk with a dr and was totally left hanging. Her husband was back in Michi.gan because he had to move back for his new job early. So she was all alone in Chicag.o with a dead baby in her stomach and no one at the office could get anyone to talk to her. They just sent her on her way and made her come back the next day having to figure out how to deal with that news over night.

I'm the type of person that strongly believes in the saying that all things happen for a reason, but I hate that life has to be so hard for good people. Why can't life just be hard for those people who make bad choices or commit hateful crimes. I know if we didn't have to endure heartache and loss then we wouldn't come out stronger in the end but damn sometimes it's really not fair. I have several friends who are having great difficulties getting and staying pregnant. It makes me feel bad that it happened so easy both times for R and me. Does God really decide who has to endure pain and who doesn't and if so, how in the hell do some get chosen over others.

I have no idea if I said the "right" things to my friend and I tried to explain that I didn't want to hurt her more by saying the "wrong" thing. I told her that I wouldn't pretend that I knew what losing a baby feels like because I don't and I just tried to be there for her. I feel really bad and it really hurts me to know that I can't do something to take away her pain. I get so mad thinking of all the young girls who get pregnant by accident or the crack addicts that abandon their babies in the NICU, I just don't understand life sometimes. I feel the worst about the fact that my friend has to attend her sister in laws baby shower in a couple weeks and try to make it through knowing that her baby didn't make it.

Hugs to everyone who has had to go through this, I'm so sorry that good people have to lose such precious gifts.