No Call

The school that I interviewed at told me that I'd most likely hear from them yesterday.....the phone didn't ring. I suppose that maybe I won't have to make a decision or tell them no because maybe I won't even get offered the position. That is super depressing because I thought for sure that I had it in the bag. I knew that I wouldn't be able to take the position but it was still an ego boost to know that I had something else if I wanted to accept it.

I have been really unhappy lately. I'm so sick of feeling like my luck has run out or that my life is just totally sucking. I need to do something about it and I feel like I'm stuck. I am applying for EVERY job that I can and not hearing anything. Unlike R when he was in this position and thought he might lose his job he wasn't hitting the pavement and applying for jobs like I am. I hate feeling over qualified and wishing that I never got my masters degree. There was a small moment where I was able to feel happy about achieving my masters and being the first person in my family with their master's degree and now I'm wishing like hell that I could somehow erase it from my transcripts. How messed up is that?

I feel lost right now and I know that my destiny lies in my hands but I'm so confused as to what I want to do. I'm contemplating going back for my Ph.D. so I can get into higher education and actually use my degree and teach college but that's going to be a ton more money. I racked up so much debt just getting my master's degree and it makes me sick that I could get further into debt because I can't get a good job with the degree that I have. I also need to take the G.RE and that just freaks me out because I don't consider myself a good test taker and it's been so long since I've taken a standardized test.

I just hope that 2011 brings some good fortune because I'm really tired of having crappy luck!