How Much Longer?

January was not good to us. There were several days that I didn't get sub jobs and then my tutoring hours were few and far between. The pay period ended today and I only ended up with 6 days. My tutoring money is WAY less than normal so needless to say I'm not sure if we're going to have enough money to get through the first couple weeks of February. I called WI..C today and made an appointment for February 21st because we definitely need the food. I also left a message for our D..HS specialist so we can set up a meeting and hopefully qualify for food stamps and bill assistance. In the mean time I'm still working on figuring out how to come up with some extra cash to pay our bills. It's really hard to not get sad and depressed. I'm having a really hard time lately. I have been allowing myself to cry in the shower but then after my shower is done, I acknowledge that times are not easy and I've allowed myself to feel bad for 5-10 minutes but for the rest of the day I'm positive and realize that all we can do is try our best. Here are some things that I am so happy about, it helps to focus on these things:

• Little man has developed a sense of humor within in the past couple weeks and just cracks us up several times per day. He amazes me everyday with the things that come out of his mouth.
• Baby M is rolling over from back to belly now. He's makings tons of new noises and sounds and laughs a lot. He's sleeping better and eating cereal, veggies and fruits now.
• The sunshine, though it's cold just seeing the sun and feeling a bit of warmth from it reassures me that spring will be here eventually.
• Our house...I really love it and it's comforting to know that it's filled with love and family memories. One of my favorite things in the house is a ceramic mallard duck, it looks like a big Christmas tree ornament and it's hanging above our sink. It belonged to my great aunt. We bought it for her as a gift and when she died I asked for it back so that I could always have her looking over us. She was a great and wonderful person, a teacher, and the most patient and loving woman.

Well I could keep adding to the list but I need to get to bed because we just put Baby M down and I want to get as much sleep as possible before his next feeding.