Things That Suck

UPDATE: R got a call for an interview next Wednesday for a job that he thinks the job fax service he used sent his resume to so he's not even sure what the position is for and didn't want to sound like a dumb ass asking the woman on the phone. So we'll see how this goes. It makes the other interview rejection for the job up north a little more bearable.

• There have been no calls from Arling.ton, VA since I wrote last, this is never a good sign!
• R just found out that he wasn't selected for an interview for another job that he had networked by cold calling individuals affiliated with the position. This was in an attempt to get his foot in the door for a job that he was more than qualified. Those individuals gave him really great information about the job and also contacted the hiring person on his behalf, guess that new strategy he tried doesn't work.
• He got another rejection letter for another job in the mail today.
• R applied at Mc.Donald's yesterday :(
• It's now been 10 months since R lost his job.
• We're running out of money and exhausting our resources.
• I saw a teacher that was on the tutoring list with me from the local elementary school walking out of the library with a bin, which means she is getting tutoring opportunities and I didn't get any calls for tutoring students. I had convinced myself that there just wasn't a need because people couldn't afford it in this economy, but I was wrong. It was disappointing to see it and to know that the teacher probably really didn't seriously NEED the money like I do, and I'm just as qualified as her.
• I still get excited about finding teaching job openings yet in the back of my mind I know that I'm not going to have a snow balls chance in hell to get one. A local district had a buyout, had 11 openings, got 13,000 applicants, WTF??? I applied for 5 positions in a town near us and am desperately trying to find someone to network with so I can get my foot in the door.
• My friend, A lives in Mary.land and is having to decide right now which job she wants to take, because she has multiple offers. I'm happy for her, but it's depressing.
• That job in Chic.ago that flew R down and put him up in the swanky hotel still hasn't told him that he didn't get the job, and that's just rude in my opinion.
• It's raining and cold.
• I have no idea when we're going to get our break and how much worse things are going to get before that break happens.
• I'm sad right now and it's actually been a long time since I've been this sad. I've been so positive, optimistic, happy, etc... and now I don't know how to keep feeling those things because sadness and worry seems to be creeping in.

Rough Day


So reality is really starting to set in that we aren't going to have very little money coming in and lots of bills to pay. I'm handling this really well, I think, however, R is not taking this so well. It's almost as if he didn't think that he'd ever have to deal with this. Now that he is having to deal with this reality he's not been very pleasant at all. We discussed back in August when we found out about his job that we were going to stay positive because getting upset/sad/angry/etc.... wasn't going to help the situation. He's displaying all those feelings by taking them out on me. He yelled at me and made flip remarks more times that I can count today and it's really beginning to piss me off. I'm usually the one who flips out, cries, worries, etc.. and this is the first time that I am not doing any of those things. I cried today because I was sad at the way he was treating me not because I'm sad about our situation.


My attitude has been to do whatever I need to do in order to help out our situation. I'm just trying to tutor as much as possible as well as find other ways to make money. I called the local school district today and set up an interview with the superintendent to get signed up to substitute teach. I have that interview next Tuesday and hopefully will be able to start subbing shortly there after. The district pays $90 per day so that's a great rate and maybe I can get a long term position. My neighbor knows a few teachers that are going off on maternity leave so I'm going to talk to her to see if I can possibly get her friends to have me sub and consider me for some long term positions. If you get a long term position the pay rate goes up to $140 per day. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to bring money in to help our family.


I'm not sure how to deal with R. I can only imagine how he feels right now but he can't change the past. We have to take one day at a time and try to deal with things as they arise and be as proactive as possible. I was feeling really low yesterday because I filled out the application to get government assisted health insurance for the kids and me birth control for free. I also called and left a message at the local WIC office to try to set up an appointment there for help with food. I never imagined that I would ever have to apply for aid like this but we don't really have many options right now. I am doing what I need to do in order to keep our family afloat.


I was watching Op.rah yesterday with Suz.e Orm.an and these people were on asking about their 90K credit card debt, pretty much in the same situation we are in, lost their jobs, etc... and was putting everything on their credit cards, only making enough money to pay the minimum payment on their 29 credit cards. I don't want to end up like them so I made a decision to not run up my credit cards. I'm going to try to make money in order to buy only what we need. I'm planning a garage sale to get rid of things that we've accumulated over the years that we don't need so we can bring in some extra cash. It will also help us declutter the house. We also have items that can be put on E.bay and Craig.slist. I think our situation is not the best, but that we can handle it if we stay optimistic. I'm really not interested in being the only positive, optimistic person though, R needs to hold up his end of the deal and do the same.

The Latest

I've been meaning to blog for several days but times are definitely busy! I had my baby shower this past weekend and that was very nice. We got catered food from a local Italian restaurant. My mom ordered a cake from a bakery and came down on Friday night to spend the whole weekend. The shower was a noon on Saturday and that was a bit stressful because there was a lot to do to get ready for the shower. There were only about 10 people because quite a few couldn't make it but it ended up being the perfect amount. I got some cute clothes but was pretty disappointed that people didn't shop from the registry because there were some things that we needed really bad and since R isn't working we have no money to purchase the items on our own. I ended up taking several things back to Babi.es R U.S the day after the shower so I could get the things that I really needed.

Baby M was sleeping really well but recently has been up pretty much most of the night. It's been trial and error to see what his deal is and how to remedy him being nocturnal. Last night actually went pretty well, though I won't be splitting shifts with R. He thought it would be a good idea if we took shifts. I would stay up with him until around 1am and then R would get up and stay up for a period, repeat. R went to bed around 10:30-11pm and I stayed up with Baby M. I ended up getting him to go to sleep and actually got some rest from about 11pm until 2am. Usually the night time is when Baby M is fussy and cries a lot so I was prepared for a long couple hours, but pleasantly surprised that he slept and slept well for that matter. I know I'm probably a bad parent for doing this but he sleeps really well on his bopp.y so we prop him very carefully and safely on the couch and I was sleeping on the couch right next to him. When he woke up at around 2am I fed him and then changed his diaper and figured it was a good time to wake up R and retreat to bed for a couple more hours of sleep. Well R did not have any luck and Baby M was crying and very fussy and so I got up at 3am and tried to help but that just made R mad because he wanted me to sleep and I think was insulted that I got up to "try to help" but I couldn't sleep with him crying. Finally I got up at 4am because R was just not being effective and was frustrated and it just wasn't a good situation. I'm much better able to deal with being up at night and better able to get him to calm down and actually get some sleep. Plus it's too hard to communicate with another person at that hour of the morning so there is consistency and both people are on the same page. I ended up getting him to go to sleep pretty much immediately at 4am and we both slept until 6am when my alarm went off.

The nights are definitely hard but I'm just going to take responsibility. If R was working I would be doing it anyway so I mine as well get used to it and give Baby M some consistency at night rather than being passed back and forth and one person not knowing what the other is doing. I think I can grab some naps through out the day so hopefully this works out better. I'm done putting up with R's frustration in the middle of the night. I'm not blaming him because it's damn frustrating when a baby won't stop crying and you feel as though you've done everything you can think of and usually R keeps his cool but I think it's wearing on him and things aren't running smooth.

Still no news about any jobs :( R never heard back from that phone interview so he didn't make it to the next step with that job. He's applied for several but apparently he's been passed up or things are just running really slowly. I jump every time the phone rings praying that the caller ID will light up with the name of a potential job. He did get news that there is a possibility for him to do some contract work for a friend who works at a university down in FL. He's calling about that today. I can't believe that it's already the end of September. I'm starting to look into getting government assistance and researching what programs are out there for the kids and health insurance. It makes me sick to my stomach to know that we both have freaking master's degrees and I'm typing welfare and W.I.C into my goo.gle search engine. Times like this really makes me wonder if we should have ever left F.L. in the first place. Though it was expensive we both had really good paying jobs and insurance.

Yesterday all of us went to the dentist. We've been trying to get all dr appts out of the way before insurance runs out in a week. (so scary to think about!) Luckily, we all had great visits and no cavities. R and I got a full set of X-rays and a cleaning, everything looks great. Little Man had his first visit and he did SO GREAT!!!!! It was really fun for him and the hygienist was really wonderful. It helped that she had three kids of her own all under 5. I got some really cute pictures. My mom stayed and went with us so she could watch Baby M while we were getting our teeth cleaned because R and I had to go at the same time. Next week I have my check up at the OB/GY.N and Baby M has his one month check up. We successfully made it through the colds that Little man and Baby M had so hopefully we stay healthy until we get insurance again.

I'm going to try to blog more because it's a sort of therapy for me when I get stressed. I'm staying positive though and really hoping that we are okay during this tough time. I've been tutoring a lot so I'm able to make money to cover my bills and contribute to the family. I'll keep everyone updated about how things are going!

Tuesday



Well you're probably wondering "what's Tuesday?" It's the day all my friends down in FL who are teachers will be returning to work. It's the day that had I not just resigned from my job that I too would be returning to a job. One, that paid over $37,000 with full benefits. The one now that was given to somebody else. It's depressing to think about sometimes and I get overcome with emotion. I guess I should be glad that I don't have to worry about starting a new school year after having what feels like such a short summer, but it's a catch 22 and I'm still not completely okay with the feeling. I am sure it doesn't help that I'm PMSing this week either!

Scrapbooking, however, has been so much fun. I finally set up a space in our spare room and have all my supplies organized. I spent today learning a software photo program that Cre@tive Memories has and it was AWESOME. Not only can you order pictures but you can crop, remove red eye, adjust the brightness and so much more!!!!!! I was very proud of myself that I figured it out and actually was sucessful at ordering 20 free pictures. I have two people that want to have get togethers and I'm trying to set up a girls get together for all my cousins, aunts and grandma so I can introduce them to what I do. I'm really excited and I hope my business does great! I need to sell $500 worth of products every 3 months. So please, please let me know if you have the least bit of interest in organizing your pictures, digital photo programs, or actually scrapbooking. I know most people don't have the time to scrapbook, but I have some awesome products that make it so fast and easy. My e-mail is teacherlapointe@yahoo.com Just e-mail me and I'll help you with whatever you need!