Job Fair and Career Advice

I'm heading to a teacher job fair today. I don't really think that it's going to yield high results so therefore you may wonder why I'm potentially wasting my time, it's because I'm afraid of always wondering "what if." The fact that it could remotely open up some doors or give me some leads somewhere is enough. There are going to be a lot of out of state districts as well has quite a few districts around the area in which we live so I figure it can't hurt to "get my resume out there." R went to that job fair and it was a total waste of time and this very well could yield the same result but at least I'll know that I did everything possible at the time being.

R posted on Link.ed I.n for some career help and there was a guy that contacted him that does this for his job right now. He's retired and has been highly successful in his career so now he's helping other people. Usually he charges for these services but he happens to offer it free to alumni of the university that we all graduated from. R was talking to the guy yesterday when I got home from work and then had another 2 hour phone call with him last night, only to pick it back up this afternoon. He's being very helpful and it totally redoing R's resume. Apparently, R's resume sucks and he's not surprised that he hasn't gotten a job. This guy's resume seems totally unconventional but he definitely knows what he's talking about so we're sure that the changes are going to help. He also told R about some different career sites that offer some pay options to get your resume sent to hundreds of potential employers around our area. R has gotten some great responses to use in interviews about why he's no longer at his last job and what he's been doing in the mean time. The guy said that he gives R one month before he finds something, we're hoping he's right!

2 More Days

Thank you for all your kinds words and prayers! R's whole day interview went pretty well and he's going to know on Friday via a telephone call if he's making it to the next round. The only problem is that the AVP guy is then going on vacation which is going to put a halt to the process for a week, darn people thinking they need time off, lol. So if he hears on Friday that he's made it through to the next round (I feel like I'm talking about Ame.erican Ido.l or something here) then he'll have another half day interview with the AVP guy who would be his boss and the the president of the college! When did these hiring procedures become so freaking long and technical???? So if he makes it on to that round then he'll probably have that interview the week after spring break, so around the middle of Apr.il. From there they are supposed to choose a candidate. Right now there are four people including himself and they are going to bring back two people, so he has a 1 in 4 chance. Don't get me started about chances though because he had a 50% chance and a cousin in law that worked in the university for the last job and that didn't seem to help. I'm definitely going to be on edge Friday staring at the phone every minute, but let's all pray for it to ring. All we can do is take one step at a time.

On to my latest annoyance, thanks for listening. So I was supposed to sub today for a teacher. She told me yesterday that she was "definitely" taking today off and that she would set things up with me later on in the day. Well later on in the day she left school to go pick up her girls. So I left all my contact information with a note that said I could for sure do it and she never called. There were 2 other jobs today that I could have picked up but I didn't want to pick up something when I already told her I would sub for her. Needless to say it's 6:30 in the morning and I still don't know if I have a job for today or not. Next time if I have this type of situation again I'm going to include in my note, "If I don't hear from you by 7pm then I'm going to assume you don't need me and schedule another job." Hindsight sure is 20/20. Spring break starts tomorrow so I'm not going to get a job for the half day tomorrow if any teacher wants to be paid for the break. If they take off the day before or after a holiday/break then they don't get paid so I'm pretty sure that my spring break is going to start early.

I'll for sure update on Friday with the news, keep your fingers crossed that it's good!!!!!!

Where Has the Time Gone?

Baby M is 5 months old today!!!! He's getting so big, it's making me sad, but happy in the same respect. Watching an infant grow is the most amazing experience I've ever had. They start out so dependent on you and then gain more and more independence as they get older. He's now rolling over from back to belly, eating carrots, sweet potatoes, and peas for his veggies and then bananas, pears, and apples for his fruits, so far no allergies (knock on wood). He's having 24-32 oz of breastmilk/formula per day along with his solids. We started supplementing with formula at the very end of Decem.ber and he's been sleeping for longer periods of time. We get both kids to bed at 8pm and then Baby M usually wakes up between 10-12 for his night feeding.

He loves his exersaucer, bum.bo seat, and hand toys. Baby M is in love with Little man and vice versa. Little man always helps with what ever we need him to do as well as with things that we don't ask him to do. If he notices that Baby M is fussy in his bouncy chair he'll sit next to him and bounce him. He's always tickling him and making faces at him so that he'll laugh. I cannot wait until they are at the right age where they can play together.

I could go on and on but I've got to get to bed because I have to work tomorrow. I know I'm long overdue for a picture post so I'll try to get on that. A little update about R......he's getting signed up to substitute teach. His meeting is tomorrow so hopefully he'll be able to pick up jobs on the days that I'm unable to get something and then we both can work when my mom can come and watch the kids. We still haven't heard anything from the job in Chica.go.

Annoyed

So I'm really annoyed right now about my subbing situation. I was supposed to be subbing today and the rest of the week at the elementary school near my house. Yesterday afternoon after I got home I logged on to see if I could pick up any jobs for next week and a notice popped up that my job for today was cancelled. I tried all night and had no luck getting another one. It worked out okay because we got the new fridge today and it was helpful that I was here to help get things ready for delivery.

So then mid morning I checked the jobs again and got another notice that my job for tomorrow was cancelled, at this point I'm SUPER annoyed. Luckily, about an hour later I got another job for tomorrow at the high school in an Engl.ish class. Not long after accepting that job, it got cancelled, which leaves me high and dry for tomorrow. I also had another job get cancelled that was scheduled for the first week of Feb.ruary. I'd had it, so I e-mailed the coordinator asking her what the heck was going on and she's looking into it, but that doesn't help the fact that I have no job for tomorrow. I think what probably happened was that staff development trainings got cancelled but what really sucks about that is that there are quite a few subs that got their jobs cancelled so there are quite a few looking for new jobs, which makes it hard to schedule something new.

Oh well, there isn't anything I can do so I'm not going to dwell on this but I just needed a little venting session. On to questions about R's job search. He is looking all over the nation and he mainly wants to work at a university (because that's where all of his experience is) in a dire.ctor of alum.ni relati.ons position or a communications position at an alumni association. He just found one today at an university in Chic.ago that he's going to apply for and then we're waiting to hear back from the position in Ne.braska. I just hope that something comes up before Jun.e because my subbing is seasonal so we need him back to work by then. He's been at the job search thing for 4 months now so hopefully within in the next couple months time will be on his side and something will come up. R found out on Aug.ust 15 that he either had to quit or be fired and then his last day was Septemb.er 5th, his job search though started at the end of August.

We're on a Roll!

So R called and scheduled his interview for next Wednesday at 1:30pm and he got a call today regarding another job. He just applied for this job yesterday and he had a phone interview on Monday at 9:30am for that job. I'm really hoping that something works out soon! He was a totally different person last night and today after getting some interviews. He's really excited and realizing that things are looking up. The interview he has on Monday is for a job that is about 3 hours away and would require us to move, which I'm not thrilled about, but I can't be picky. The other job is about an hour away and would be commutable for a year and then we could move closer. I hope he hears back from some of the jobs that he's applied for that are closer just because I'm so sick of moving. Well Baby M is crying so I have to get going.

It's Hump Day!

I guess it doesn't actually feel the same when your not working. I used to love to hear that it was Wednesday when I was teaching because it just made me happy to know that I had made it half way through the week. I can't explain the feeling now that I'm not working but it's definitely a blur most of the time. Sometimes I don't even know what day it is and the weeks and weekends just keep flying by.

My friend A called last night, I used to teach with her in FL. She's coming up to MI this weekend (she's originally from here) and we're going to try to get together. She was telling me though that they hired a new 4th grade teacher this year and they already want to pull her out of her classroom and hire someone to take her place. They can't fire her because she has been teaching for a couple years but at the middle school level. Apparently my old principal who hired her before he left didn't really do a great job checking references. So pretty much what I keep thinking is that I could have a job handed to me if I were just in FL. It's funny how each state is so different. I constantly think "what are we doing here in MI when there are no jobs and we are having such a hard time?" Too bad FL isn't closer, had less traffic, and the cost of living wasn't so high. I guess there are trade offs everywhere. I guess I should be happy with the fact that I am getting to spend time with Little Man and see him grow up.

We have tailgate again this weekend and my brother is actually coming home from college to watch Little Man because my parents had other plans come up. So I'm looking forward to Saturday.

Interview #2

Again, it's not for me....R has another interview for a different job next Thursday (9/27) at 1pm! This one we've been waiting for because they told him they were waiting on HR to approve everything, that apparently moves VERY slow. It was three or four weeks ago when he got that call and information!!! This job is in a nice area, but again, not exactly where we want to be. I know, I know, beggars can't be choosers. I guess I thought it would be really easy for him to come back and get a job in the exact area we wanted because there are SO many jobs available at the university and he knows a lot of people.

Little man started Kin.dermusik today and he LOVED it!!!! He loves music soooo much that I knew he would be so excited. He just kept telling anyone who would listen this morning that he was going to music class today. There are eight kids in the class but most of them are younger than him. It's 12 weeks long so I'm hoping to meet some of the other moms and at least make some friends or get involved in a playgroup or something. And it at least gives us an activity to do every Tuesday. Tomorrow we have story hour at the library. Did I mention that last week they had a ladybug theme. Keep in mind this is from 10-11, right before lunch. Their treat was making a ladybug out of (yeah you are going to love this) a chocolate covered marshmallow and graham cookie, black licorice, a gumdrop, and red frosting, WTF!!!!! So like what choice did I have, but to let him make and eat this treat???? I didn't want to be the bitchy mom that says "sweets before lunch??" He would have thrown a fit if everyone got to make it and he didn't or we left and he saw all the other little kids there. I'm hoping that tomorrow will be something healthy or at least not packed full of calories, fat and sugar.

I'll update again later this week. I'm very tired and looking forward to a good night's sleep!

Update...

Well the job turned out to be interesting but the pay wasn't what we were hoping for....only 25-35K which without me working isn't going to work out unless we kept living with my parents :o( He called his two other jobs that he really wants and he's still in the running and there is hope there so we'll see what happens. I mean maybe they won't even offer him the job, but it sucks to have to turn something down because it just wouldn't support your family. I feel helpless because I obviously didn't have any luck finding a job. Had I got a job 25-35K probably would have worked out for the time being. He did find out that he didn't get two other jobs that he applied for, but we have yet to get the rejection letters in the mail.

I, on the other hand am totally have problems with motivation right now. My classes are giving me difficulty just because they are hard to keep track of being all online and some of the content is giving me fits. I have an educational psych class, a children's lit class, and a literacy class, not an easy load. I keep going through phases where I want to keep them all and bust ass and get them done but then another part of me wants to lighten my load and drop one. It's hard to stay motivated when you aren't going to class and having face to face interaction. I love the flexibility but sometimes it's just hard!

The days are also getting so monotonous! We were supposed to have a playdate at the park today and low and behold it rains!!! Go freakin figure! It may or may not get rescheduled so who knows if we will have the opportunity again. I found a music class that I would love to get Little Man involved in but it's like 30 minutes away and it costs $158. It's 12 sessions for 45 minutes each and I know he would love it because he's in LOVE with music. I would meet other mothers and he would be able to interact with other children, but the money and gas thing is the issue, plus it adds to my schedule. So we'll see????

Busy!!!

It's been so long since I've written! I've actually started many posts but then something has come up and I just never posted. The water situation is temporarily fixed, we needed a new pump. They didn't have the size that we needed so we have a smaller size in now and it's getting replaced to the bigger size. I'm not sure how much it's going to be yet because we don't have the final product. Apparently though the pump was shot and in really bad shape and I can hardly believe it was one night that made it that bad. I think the sprinkler situation sped up the process a little faster but it was inevitable that we'd need a new one sooner or later.

On to the next piece of business.........R got a call from a job!!! The bad news is it was last Wednesday and they have been playing telephone tag since then. He called again today and left a message so hopefully she'll call back. It's not his first choice but hey it's a job. It's also in an area that we weren't really keen on, but again, beggars can't be choosers. We'll see what comes of that. I haven't heard anything, but was accosted at the local football game by the elementary and high school principals to get signed up to sub teach. They were definitely begging me by the end of the night, apparently there's a sub shortage. I'm going to seriously consider it, but I need to find out where we are going to be. If R would get that job it would be 2 hours from here so I wouldn't be able to do it. I don't want to pay the money and get signed up until I'm sure it will work out.

Next, I started three online master's classes today so that's going to keep me really, really busy!!! I'm trying to get organized today and come up with a plan for time management. I woke up at 6am this morning as I will every morning from now on because I need to have time before Little Man gets up to take care of shower, breakfast, etc... I also can get e-mail and blogs read along with checking my "to do" list :o) It worked out very well and I just have to be sure that I don't stay up too late so I'll actually be able to get up in the mornings.

Lastly, I have my first scrapbooking get together this Saturday with all my extended family (grandma, aunts, and cousins) so I'm pretty excited about that. I have to find some time this week to get everything set up and go through my trial run of my presentation. Hopefully I'll get some orders and I can start getting my family into organizing and preserving their photos!!! We are having it at my house so at least I won't have to try to pack everything up and take it somewhere.

Little man just woke up from nap so I have to get going. I'm glad I got to catch up!!

So Far So Good

Speaking in terms of my ankle injury. I ran 5 miles last night doing speedwork and it felt good. I still have tenderness if I move it a certain way or sit with my legs crossed, but I'm hoping things will continue to heal and I'll be okay. R and I decided that since the train run we had previously decided on doing may or may not happen we're switching to the Detroit Half Marathon. It's October 20, so it's about a month later than the train run but that will give my ankle more time to get back to normal.

So far no pottying for Little Man. He had the day off today because R and him went to visit my inlaws for the day so we decided that taking the potty on the road was just not a good idea and we figured he probably would enjoy a break. I'm glad that I have 6 months to transition into this because it's going to be a long journey, I have a feeling.

Well today produced another rejection letter from a job that I applied for! I sent three other huge manilla envelopes to three new school districts today that have one job opening each. I still have three others that I haven't heard from. The postage is adding up! You wouldn't believe how many different things I had to send to one district today. Here goes the long list: resume, cover letter, transcripts, teaching certificate, completed 5 page application, two letters of recommendation, a lesson plan, and state test scores for my elementary education test. It cost $1.31 to mail, and the sad thing is that this is the second time in two years that I applied to this district. I really hope that I get a call for an interview sometime soon. R applied for another job yesterday and received an e-mail back telling him that he would be considered for the position. I hope something comes up soon!!!!! My friends are all going back to work next Tuesday and the school year begins on August 20th so it's a bit depressing to know that it could be me going back to my secure job in less than a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I keep repeating my mantra "good things come to those who wait." However, it's getting harder and harder to believe.

My mom is having a Body Shop party tonight where we are going to do pedicures on ourselves so that should be fun. I also had the day to apply for jobs, sign up for classes, and get my scrapbooking all set up, basically a day of errands without Little Man. I have decided that I am going to start my Early Childhood degree in the spring so hopefully by then I'll have in state tuition. I signed up for two classes and have to get an override to sign up for another class and a lab. I really ideally would like R to get a job so we would have benefits and then I could just do scrapbooking and my classes. I also online tutor, so I would be making money. It would save on daycare, an extra car, insurance, etc... The problem we are running into is that we have to weigh my wages compared to how much daycare, car, insurance, gas, etc... would cost. There is a good possibility that my job would not yeild any profit depending on how far I would have to drive for the job. So much to think about!!!!! Keep your fingers crossed that everything just falls into place for us :o)

Yet Another Rejection

The letter I received today was probably the most promising for an interview opportunity because it was a small school district in the middle of BFE, and I didn't even get a call. The letter so eloquently named the three people they did choose for the jobs, yeah for them!!! I am enrolled for two more masters classes that start August 27th and then the scrapbooking so that should keep me busy, since it isn't looking promising. I am still waiting to hear back from three jobs but they are not jobs that I want. I just applied to for kicks to see if there was a chance that I could obtain an interview to boost my self esteem. They are very far away from every job R has applied for. R still has not heard a single thing from anyone. As of tomorrow it will be exactly two months since we've moved back and we are still at square one, no leads, no calls, no interviews, no nothing!!!!! It's been two months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow we leave to go camping and hopefully for the time we are gone we can enjoy each other and our time to spend with our friends. The weather is supposed to be great and we get to see a great group of friends :o) I am looking forward to relaxing and just having some time away from the family. Oh that's another thing that 's getting so hard. We are dying for our own space that is free of rude comments and opinions that aren't welcomed. My mother has a knack for both. I know she means well but sometimes she's just a bitch, especially to R. It makes him feel bad and I feel bad for him. I often get upset with her and vent to him and try to ignore her double standards and strong opinions, but it's hard. We're trying to keep our heads up but it's getting really hard now when I know that if we were back in FL that I would be reporting to work in two weeks. Good things come to those who wait, my mantra everyday!! Pray for us!!

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

I read the bible before bed most every night and it was one night last week that I came upon a good passage on patience and it really seemed to apply to our situation. We are both being very patient waiting to hear for jobs we have applied for. My question is how does one stay calm and patient? I truly felt inspired after happening to read that specific passage and I thought in my superstitious sort of way that it was a sign, giving me strength to keep my head up and stay optimistic. I'm not sure if any of you have ever felt this way but every time the phone rings I deeply hope that it's regarding a job. Every time the mail comes I hope that there will be something. Every time I check jobs I hope that there is something new that I can apply for or that there are jobs in R's field. It's becoming a very sad existence. This cycle has led me to seek other options or formulate back up plans, "just in case."

The problem that I have come to realize is that I started making too many back up plans and people have been pointing it out to me. I pondered it a great deal last night and decided that I'm so wrapped up in coming up with multiple back up plans that I'm creating one big mess! I was considering going back to school for an extra endorsement on my teaching certificate and after proper reconsideration I felt that I would abandon that due to high tuition costs, since I'm still considered "out of state" and due to the fact that we aren't sure exactly where we are going to be living. I also was going to apply at the local community college for some teaching positions, though not completely qualified, but I decided that I would also abandon that.

I swear job hunting and back up plans are engulfing me like quick sand and after a harsh reality check last night from my frustrated husband I took his thoughts into serious consideration. The thing that I am left with are the scrap booking business and hobby, which I probably acted on too quickly without proper thought, but which interests me a lot and makes me happy. I am also a mother, which I think I've been doing a less than stellar job at lately because I've been so occupied with everything else. I bought a great Creative Resources for the Early Childhood Classroom book today so I can start having fun crafts, finger plays, songs, activities, etc... to do with Little Man because swimming is now over and we're going to be bored out of our mind. My class is finishing up this next week and then I'll have a few weeks off before I start my other online class at the end of August.

I hope the "good things come to those who wait and who are patient" is true and I hope that I can stay sane and strong enough.

Keeping My Head Up

Well I'm out of my funk, this is going to sound crazy, but I think it was because R was gone that I was so crabby. As soon as he got home my mood perked up and I have felt much better! It could also have been not working out much last week. I got another rejection letter yesterday from the dream school district. I actually had a connection with this one so that's not a good sign. I had a guy (former principal and high up on the totem pole) personally call the HR director and talk to her about me and then he told me to forward all my materials and that didn't even work. OH WELL!!! I just sent off three more packets for jobs all around the state on MI. I wouldn't want to live in any of the cities where the jobs are but maybe I could get an interview and get some practice or find a city that's worth living in that close to those cities. Well this post is going to be cut short because Little man is knocking on his door because he wants us to know he's ready to get up from his nap. Isn't that sooooo cute?

In a Funk

Aunt Flo began right as I was posting my last blog, funny I guess. I've just been feeling off all week. R has been gone since early Tuesday morning and things have been more hectic than I thought. I scheduled online tutoring hours not really thinking about the fact that he wasn't going to be here to help with Little Man and then on top of that I've had my nose buried in Little Woman all week long and I still have 200 pages to read. My four to five page paper is due Sunday night at 11:59pm and I wanted to have the book completed by today so I could focus on the paper. Well it's just not going to happen. I've been reading at pretty much every free moment that Little man is napping or down for the night. It's just a long ass book.

Luckily tomorrow my mom is not working and we don't have anything going on. Running has fallen by the wayside this week and I'm feeling really bad about it. I have to get my ass up to the track at the high school tomorrow morning and do my five mile speed workout. For some reason I'm nervous about going up there alone. It's open to the public and at my old high school but I don't know. R went to the track on campus where his conference is and did his workout today so I'd better stop making excuses and get my butt up there tomorrow!!!!!!!! If he can work it into his busy schedule in a strange city I sure as hell can fit it in!

So back to my Little Women paper, I have to write about a theme in the book. I chose poverty vs. wealth, not sure why I chose that, but of the options that were recommended that seemed to appeal to me the most. Maybe it's more obvious too when they talk about poor people and wealthy people and describe various things throughout the book. Up until now I thought that I had read this book before but now that I am rereading it, I don't think I ever got through it. I did watch the movie though and maybe I counted that??? The prof for this class is the worst, maybe not in person but she is online. To me if someone is going to teach an online class, they should be online checking their e-mail and responding to students fairly often since that's our only means of communication with this woman. I have yet to receive a response to a question/concern before just pulling my hair out and doing what I think is right. There was a book that I couldn't find that was required to do an assignment. I e-mailed her THREE times and finally got an e-mail back stating that she was going to address my concern through a class e-mail later that morning.....SHE NEVER DID!!!!!!!!!! I finally had to get another version of the book and attempt the assignment hoping that she would accept it. She was the same prof who I e-mailed requesting the book list and she posted the book list after reading my e-mail and responded back that she posted the book list awhile ago. She did it the same day she read my e-mail!!!!!!!!

On to more interesting things.....shopping!!!! I got some great deals at Old Navy today. I love the summer pj's for Little man that are separate cotton shorts and tops, fit very snug, and come in cute little prints. I guess they are normally $14.50 a pair or 2 for $25 which I think is outrageous!!!!! I would never pay that much because they are just pj's!!!!! Anyway I got two pairs for him today for $14!!!! I also got two colored shirts (plain, scoop neck, nothing on the front) for $10!!!!!! I was quite happy with my bargain shopping. Oh and on the shopping note I started making friends and finally broke my way into a conversation with some of the other moms at swimming today because the topic was shopping and I'm hoping to maybe make some friends. They were talking about how great the outlet malls are and telling me what good buys they got. I think I'm going to try that for Little mans next season of clothes. They have all the good stores (Gap, Children's Place, Gymboree, etc...) and it's more reasonable then paying full price. Sales are also my favorite so I'm keeping my eye open now for clothes for the future. I think I could safely buy 4's an know they would fit next summer. I mean you can't pass up buys for $2 and $3.

We still haven't heard from any potential employers requesting interviews :o( Every night I pray that the next day will yield a phone call from the university requesting R for an interview. He's been gone all week so I thought maybe something would happen while he was gone, nothing. I found quite a few positions open this week but none of them are remotely close to where he is applying. I thought I would apply anyway and maybe get some interviewing practice. I know good things come to those who wait!!!! I just keep telling myself to be positive and patient. I talked with my old principal today because I needed him new address and phone number because he moved to Georgia and I need to list him as a reference. He's doing okay but sounds like it's going to take some time to adjust. He's such a nice guy I hope that things work out for him. He told me that if things don't work out up here I could always move to GA and he'd give me a job, haha. No more long distance moving for me!!!!!!!!!! Although we are pretty much still packed, haha. Okay so there it is....one long update :o) Hope you enjoy!

Homesick and Rejected

I'm really missing Florida right now, or maybe just the feeling of having a life that didn't impede on someone else. Living with my parents is so challenging. My mom is very critical of everything and makes snotty comments here and there to get her points across. I feel like R and I have been pulling more than our weight around here by cooking, cleaning, having a garage sale, running errands, etc... Yet my mom never fails to micro manage every freaking little thing. I ignored it for a couple weeks and now it's really getting to me. She's very judgemental and feels that if people aren't doing things her way then they are doing them wrong. I don't eat enough fruits and vegetables or R needs to plant his garden at a certain time, the list goes on and on. I feel bad for R because it's mostly the kitchen and cooking that he catches heat from her about. He cooks awesome and his method is different than most, he piles dishes and cleans them when he's done. It was hard for me to get used to, but it's his way and who am I to judge, well she's underfoot loading the dishes into the dishwasher because she "can't stand having dishes piled in the sink" I've learned to pick my battles. I used to fault my father for being gone so much but I'm sure it's just because he can't stand to be around her. She's borderline rude making her opinions known and speaking her mind. I miss having a place of our own and doing things the way that works for us. It hits me at weird times that FL isn't our home anymore and that we are home. I just start randomly crying.

On another note I got a rejection letter from a school district today. I applied for a first grade position in the beginning of June and I didn't even get an interview. The job market is so bad here and they can been so picky about exactly who they want. They get over 500 applications for one job opening. I used to complain that I never heard anything from these jobs that I was applying for but now that I got a letter I think I like it better not getting anything. I think that was my first rejection. It was pretty disappointing. Up until now I think I was thinking in the back of my mind that I would get a job, either by luck or a connection, but now I'm thinking that maybe I'm going to be unemployed and that's scary. I thought I would be okay with it but after thinking about living here for months and months I'm really sweating not getting employment and moving on with our life.

I start class again on Monday so at least I'll have something to devote my time to in the evenings and at night. I wish that I had my own space in the house where I could sit and do my work away from everyone, alone. I start my second class on July 2, so then I'll be very busy! Which reminds me I need to order my books. Well I guess I'll do that now.

Visiting a Friend

The day was not a great one, mainly due to piss poor planning. I'm the kind of person who is indecisive. I made plans for the fam and I to go visit a college friend and her husband. They live about an hour and a half away and she's expecting in the next month. I haven't seen her since her wedding in October and I just HAD to see her preggo! Well I just called her and asked her if we could come over, not making blow by blow plans as to what we were going to do when we got there. It was the town's festival so we ended up taking Little Man down to where they had rides and carnie food. R didn't stop and get cash on the way down to the park and then he got super annoyed when we obviously needed cash for food and tickets for rides. I told him to stop at a bank but he claims that he didn't fully understand what we were doing. I guess I needed to spell things out and have a blow by blow, hour by hour, typed itinerary of our visit. They ended up buying us lunch and some tickets and it wasn't really a big deal. Of course though the man's stupid ego was shattered and it ruined our day!!!! I just don't get why men are so freakin sensitive about money when it comes to other people. Oh by the way we did have some cash, just not a whole lot. So I guess R was embarrassed because he looked bad in front of my friends.

This leads to another topic. He doesn't really care for my friend. Back a long time ago before we were married and were in a long distance relationship we broke up for a short time. I of course told my friends and in hopes to make me feel better they used the line "well we never liked him anyway," which is totally classic when a girl goes through a break up. In my anger stage towards R I made the mistake of telling him that my friends didn't like him. I really think that they were just trying to make me feel better. None of them have ever said or done anything to disrespect or be mean to him. Yet he won't get off that kick that my friends don't like him and he never ceases to bring it up. I'm really starting to get pissed at him and resentful about it because it was in the past and I don't think that my friends really feel that way about him. Of course the way he acts around them I wouldn't doubt that they may feel that way. I had a point when bringing this up...... anyway one of the main perks about moving back to MI was that we would be around our friends. Well what the F*** good is that when he dislikes my friends. I feel very uncomfortable because he pretends to like them when we are in front of them but I can tell that he's pretending or acting fake. I like all his friends and don't talk crap or act like a bitch around them and it just pisses me off that he won't let it go. They are perfectly nice to him, are respectful, engage in conversation, have spouses that are friendly, yet he's got this chip on his shoulder. I guess I just don't feel it's fair and I'm really down in the dumps about this issue because I have envisioned couple trips, camping, cookouts, birthday celebrations, etc... and I just don't think that's going to happen when he acts the way he did today.

So I cried myself to sleep again when I took a nap today. I miss FL and home. It seems so weird that this is our home now. The littlest things get me down. I accidentally bought the wrong size shirts for R's birthday and Father's day. I have to drive an hour and 15 minutes to exchange them because that's the closest mall. That's about $30 worth of gas with the way that gas prices are these days. Just this last week we made 3 trips down south for various things that we needed. I dropped off a job application in person on Friday because I haven't been hearing jack from the ones I've been mailing. I also had to pick up transcripts to include in my application packet. I really hope I hear something. At least throw me a bone and offer me an interview. I put together an impressive packet, resume, cover letter, 3 letters of recommendation, transcripts, copy of my teaching certificate, and a copy of my test scores. All they asked for was resume and cover letter but I had to include more of what showed who I was. Please include me in your prayers, I need this job. I really hope everything works out for us. It's stressful not knowing what your future holds. I know in my heart this is a better environment to raise children, but at what expense do you give up what makes you happy. I'm scared! I desperately want to be happy, but sometimes things are beyond your control. I try to keep my spirits up and look on the bright side, but it's hard.

The Days Are Ticking Down

I picked my mom up at the airport today and we leave to fly back to MI with Little Man on Thursday. I can't believe that it's already time!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm kinda starting to freak out right about now. School is almost over yet I still have to find time to pack up my room. We still have a TON to pack here and we are leaving the place that I've called home for that past 4 years. Damn I can't believe that it's been 4 years!!!
R got turned down for the job that we thought he would get so that was a little bit of a bummer, however, they called him and want him to come in a talk once we get back about other possible opportunities so the door still seems cracked, not fully open, but cracked. I've been looking every day for openings and finishing applications to school districts. My next feat is collecting my letters of recommendation. It sucks but I have to write most of my own and then the person just signs them and puts them on official letter head. No one wants to write them anymore. Hopefully we will get jobs sooner or later. It's such a pain and I have to be way too organized.
Classes are over until June 25th and July 2, that's when my two summer ones start. I so needed this two month break! I feel like I have so much more time now! I did get two 4.0's this semester and learned A GREAT DEAL!! My classes this summer are in my reading cognent so hopefully they will be more interesting, or at least more geared towards a love of mine. I'm half way done though and that's a nice feeling.
Now changing subjects....my husband's nicotine addiction. I'm fucking annoyed and I want him to stop chewing. I'm going to demand that he quit when we move to Michigan but I just have to breach the subject at the right time. He's quit before because I've made it clear that I was no longer putting up with it. My uncle had to have precancerous lesions removed from his mouth and all I could think about was R and his stupid chewing habit and how that would probably be him in 10 years. My uncle isn't even that old. I guess they were really bad too and I really don't want to have to deal with R and that shit later on in life. Ok there was my rant. Time for bed!