Yet Another Rejection

The letter I received today was probably the most promising for an interview opportunity because it was a small school district in the middle of BFE, and I didn't even get a call. The letter so eloquently named the three people they did choose for the jobs, yeah for them!!! I am enrolled for two more masters classes that start August 27th and then the scrapbooking so that should keep me busy, since it isn't looking promising. I am still waiting to hear back from three jobs but they are not jobs that I want. I just applied to for kicks to see if there was a chance that I could obtain an interview to boost my self esteem. They are very far away from every job R has applied for. R still has not heard a single thing from anyone. As of tomorrow it will be exactly two months since we've moved back and we are still at square one, no leads, no calls, no interviews, no nothing!!!!! It's been two months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow we leave to go camping and hopefully for the time we are gone we can enjoy each other and our time to spend with our friends. The weather is supposed to be great and we get to see a great group of friends :o) I am looking forward to relaxing and just having some time away from the family. Oh that's another thing that 's getting so hard. We are dying for our own space that is free of rude comments and opinions that aren't welcomed. My mother has a knack for both. I know she means well but sometimes she's just a bitch, especially to R. It makes him feel bad and I feel bad for him. I often get upset with her and vent to him and try to ignore her double standards and strong opinions, but it's hard. We're trying to keep our heads up but it's getting really hard now when I know that if we were back in FL that I would be reporting to work in two weeks. Good things come to those who wait, my mantra everyday!! Pray for us!!

Visiting a Friend

The day was not a great one, mainly due to piss poor planning. I'm the kind of person who is indecisive. I made plans for the fam and I to go visit a college friend and her husband. They live about an hour and a half away and she's expecting in the next month. I haven't seen her since her wedding in October and I just HAD to see her preggo! Well I just called her and asked her if we could come over, not making blow by blow plans as to what we were going to do when we got there. It was the town's festival so we ended up taking Little Man down to where they had rides and carnie food. R didn't stop and get cash on the way down to the park and then he got super annoyed when we obviously needed cash for food and tickets for rides. I told him to stop at a bank but he claims that he didn't fully understand what we were doing. I guess I needed to spell things out and have a blow by blow, hour by hour, typed itinerary of our visit. They ended up buying us lunch and some tickets and it wasn't really a big deal. Of course though the man's stupid ego was shattered and it ruined our day!!!! I just don't get why men are so freakin sensitive about money when it comes to other people. Oh by the way we did have some cash, just not a whole lot. So I guess R was embarrassed because he looked bad in front of my friends.

This leads to another topic. He doesn't really care for my friend. Back a long time ago before we were married and were in a long distance relationship we broke up for a short time. I of course told my friends and in hopes to make me feel better they used the line "well we never liked him anyway," which is totally classic when a girl goes through a break up. In my anger stage towards R I made the mistake of telling him that my friends didn't like him. I really think that they were just trying to make me feel better. None of them have ever said or done anything to disrespect or be mean to him. Yet he won't get off that kick that my friends don't like him and he never ceases to bring it up. I'm really starting to get pissed at him and resentful about it because it was in the past and I don't think that my friends really feel that way about him. Of course the way he acts around them I wouldn't doubt that they may feel that way. I had a point when bringing this up...... anyway one of the main perks about moving back to MI was that we would be around our friends. Well what the F*** good is that when he dislikes my friends. I feel very uncomfortable because he pretends to like them when we are in front of them but I can tell that he's pretending or acting fake. I like all his friends and don't talk crap or act like a bitch around them and it just pisses me off that he won't let it go. They are perfectly nice to him, are respectful, engage in conversation, have spouses that are friendly, yet he's got this chip on his shoulder. I guess I just don't feel it's fair and I'm really down in the dumps about this issue because I have envisioned couple trips, camping, cookouts, birthday celebrations, etc... and I just don't think that's going to happen when he acts the way he did today.

So I cried myself to sleep again when I took a nap today. I miss FL and home. It seems so weird that this is our home now. The littlest things get me down. I accidentally bought the wrong size shirts for R's birthday and Father's day. I have to drive an hour and 15 minutes to exchange them because that's the closest mall. That's about $30 worth of gas with the way that gas prices are these days. Just this last week we made 3 trips down south for various things that we needed. I dropped off a job application in person on Friday because I haven't been hearing jack from the ones I've been mailing. I also had to pick up transcripts to include in my application packet. I really hope I hear something. At least throw me a bone and offer me an interview. I put together an impressive packet, resume, cover letter, 3 letters of recommendation, transcripts, copy of my teaching certificate, and a copy of my test scores. All they asked for was resume and cover letter but I had to include more of what showed who I was. Please include me in your prayers, I need this job. I really hope everything works out for us. It's stressful not knowing what your future holds. I know in my heart this is a better environment to raise children, but at what expense do you give up what makes you happy. I'm scared! I desperately want to be happy, but sometimes things are beyond your control. I try to keep my spirits up and look on the bright side, but it's hard.