What To Do Today?

Well it feels like I've been off from work forever! I have to keep reminding myself what day it is. I don't know what I feel like doing today??? I really want to tell my husband to forget buying anything for me for Christmas because he doesn't even know what to get me and I would just rather not put him through the misery. He thinks it's more of a hassle than fun so what's the point? It's pretty insulting. I just think back to when we first met I knew NOTHING about cooking. Cooking is my husbands number 1 hobby. I did introduce him to William Sonoma but hell if I knew what any of the tools inside did or were, I just knew it was a cooking store. Slowly throughout our dating years and marriage I have made it a point to learn more and more about cooking, the utensils, and tools that make him so excited about his hobby. Now I can actually go into the store and explain what a mandoline is (no it's not just an instrument). I always keep my eyes and ears open when he goes into the store to gush about what he wants and I always listen to him while he's cooking when he says he wishes he had _____ or he really wants _____. I've now also developed an appreciation for cooking, but mostly I realize that it's so much fun for my husband and that's why it's important to me.

Well so where I am I going with this rant?? Scrapbooking in my hobby. I'm really behind on Little Man's scrapbook but it's all good. So do you think that R would attempt to learn more about that hobby so he could buy me things for my scrapbook? He's always talking about how he wants to make gifts unique and special and not just go into a store and get something to get it. There are many different ways that he could just do a little research and easily find scrapbook supplies. I even went through a Creative Memories catalog and circled everything I wanted. He was sitting right next to me when I was doing it and he claimed the other night that he didn't even know there was a catalog. Sure, I could spell out exactly what I want to him, but that's exactly what he doesn't want. He wants it to be a surprise and it be special. I just feel like it would take like an hour out of his day to really think and research something that would be an awesome gift for me that I would like. I think he tends to get things that he likes for me for gifts and then when I'm not crazy about them he takes it personally and that translates into that I'm hard to buy for because I'm so picky. When in all actuality if he would get me things that I want or things that he think I would like, things would be fine. I really don't even care about gifts at Christmas because all I want is to be around family and have a good time, hanging out and baking, and watching all the holiday movies. I like to watch other people open their gifts because it brings more joy to me to see someone else get really excited and love the gift that I got for them.

I really want an apology today for the F*** off comment from last night but I'm not holding my breath! He tends to think that his comments are always justified and warrated. I went on to Dr. Phil.com last night for advice and took a survey and apparently according to my answers my marriage is in major trouble. There were certain points that I found helpful on the website. Here are his major points: Have a solid friendship ( if you want a good friend then you have to be a good friend), meet each others' needs (the success of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it meets the needs of two people), set specific goals (Wake up each morning and say, 'What can I do today to advance the ball?), get back to basics (Write down your definitions of a successful relationship and live up to those definitions), take responsibility (You can't control the way your spouse acts in your relationship, but you can control how you react in negative situations. "You have to take 100 percent responsibility for what you're doing in a relationship), and turn the negatives into to-do list ( on the relationship health profile test turn the negative into positives). I look at all that I know I have room for improvement, but it's really hard to do all those things when you aren't feeling like the other person is trying. If any of you have some good relationship advice or suggestions for me I would LOVE them.