Done Finally!!!!!!!!!!

Well at least with the Harry Potter papers, I'm all finished. I am going to let them set overnight just to be sure I have a clear head when I go through and proof read and revise. They were a struggle and one is really short, but I'm at my wits end. I have two more papers left for my classes until I'm finished with my third semester of grad school. I have a final paper for this children's lit class and then my final design project for my other class, which I just have to finish because the first half is already done. I am hoping to be all done by Thanksgiving!!!!!!

My professor is really late posting the final paper for my children's lit class, it was supposed to be posted on Sunday but she just e-mailed and it's not ready yet. It's fine by me because I just got through with the last assignment. I made an arrangement with my cyber friend in my other class to swap papers for proofreading on Sunday, so I have exactly 4 days to finish my rough draft of my paper for that class. All these papers....I'm ready for a break!

Ok, I'm seriously annoyed by a couple things at the moment and just need to vent. The first being that the house is a disaster. I am able to get very little done between school work and being preschool teacher/camp counselor/nanny/ mother/etc... to Little man. I've been unpacking here and there, bringing in more boxes, all the little things, but the house is in shambles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My husband is doing NOTHING! All he does is come home from work, help with Little man while I tutor (yes I sorta work :o) and then he lays on the couch and falls asleep. Now I get it, I do, he's working all day long. However, I am too!!!!! My day is crazy with all the things I try to pack in and I know his is probably much more draining because he has the commute and meetings all the time, etc.... but damn I'm going to go crazy if he comes home one more night and falls asleep on the couch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe I already have went crazy. It's really hard to keep my mouth from shouting out, "quit being a lazy ass and do some work around here, would you!" I've tried bringing it up nicely, but he's just not doing anything. It's bothering me so much, but every spare minute I have to work on the house is spent writing papers or tutoring. I guess my first point just leaked into my second one there. My second one was that my husband is being a lazy ass!

Have I mentioned that I don't have a car because we can't afford it? Well I don't have a car and therefore I'm stuck only going places within walking distance, which is pretty much the subdivision because everything else is too far to walk and I'd have to cross major roads, and not to mention it's getting cold. It wasn't bad at my parent's house because they had extra cars that I could borrow to go short distances, here I literally have my legs. Which are pretty sore right now because I walked three times around our big subdivision for some much needed exercise and because I was so damn bored. I joined a play group but it's kind of hard to get anywhere without a car. I would invite people over but it looks like a tornado hit the house, well inside the house at least! Ok, there is my rant about that :o)

On to the next one, I'm not liking being a stay at home mom. It makes me feel sad that I didn't fall in love with the job, but I miss going to work and being around adults and kids, but there were at least adults I could talk to and discuss things with. Little man is very active and in the terrible two's stage which doesn't make things easy. He's had a lot of change in the past 6 months and I want so very bad to get his world stable and him on a routine. He functions very well on a routine and likes being able to predict what's coming next. He's actually going to stay with my parents next Sun-?, possibly Thanksgiving because I need to finish these classes and get this house organized. Hopefully after that we'll have all our stuff in it's place and we can begin to start our daily routine. I feel like a bad mother a lot though because I get frustrated and don't like being a stay at home mommy. I'm looking forward to next semester because I'm not going to have any classes. They don't offer the last two I need until the summer semester so I'll be taking the last two then.

Lastly, our health insurance is beginning on December 1st (knock on wood everyone stays healthy until then) and we're going to start trying for baby #2. I'm having serious anxieties about not being able to handle two, if one frustrates me, what am I going to do with two, where I am outnumbered???? I'm scared that Little man won't be potty trained by then and I'll have two in diapers, ahhhh! I'm not sure how you know you are ready for a second. I have been feeling really ready but then I stop and think about the sleep deprivation, and the temper tantrums, and the pure exhaustion of just having one, and I get scared. Ok, that's plenty of venting for tonight!